Blogging

So...nine months? Has it really been that long? well in human anatomy that would mean it is about time to give birth to something new, eh?

I seldom posted out of sheer frustration. I was on dial up internet and it was maddening how slow it was. Living where we do our options were very limited... dial up or satellite.

Well, now as the family says, we have made it into the new millenium with satellite internet. It took a lot of research, feet dragging and just plain old wondering if we would regret it. I am happy to say that so far we have not!

I have been trying to catch up on all that I have been missing out on with other blogs, facebook, myspace, etc. This takes time. Time I do not always have. But today I chose to concentrate on two blogs I enjoy reading. That would be Linda and Dena. Two special people. Two great reads.

After reading their blogs I began to ponder this whole blog thing and why I had even thought I could be a part of it. I do not consider myself a writer although I used to think I would like to be one when I was MUCH younger. That was B.C. (before children). Children changed a good many things in my life and I would not go back for one minute. I love my girls and the life the Lord has given me with them.

Anyway...after reading Linda and Dena, I began to really think I am not a writer. So I googled "Blogging" to see if I might really have a place on here or not. Turns out I do. Anyone can.

blog
Definition (from http://www.marketingterms.com/dictionary/blog/)
A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links.
Information
A blog is often a mixture of what is happening in a person's life and what is happening on the Web, a kind of hybrid diary/guide site, although there are as many unique types of blogs as there are people.
People maintained blogs long before the term was coined, but the trend gained momentum with the introduction of automated published systems, most notably Blogger at blogger.com. Thousands of people use services such as Blogger to simplify and accelerate the publishing process.
Blogs are alternatively called web logs or weblogs. However, "blog" seems less likely to cause confusion, as "web log" can also mean a server's log files.

No one probably reads this anyway. Who wants to wait 9 months for a post? We wait 9 months for children to be born, we wait months for the release of a movie sequel, or a highly anticipated concert or CD release. Maybe that's the catch..."highly anticipated".
I'm thinking that does NOT fit me or my blog! :)
But I have decided that should I take the notion to toss out a few random musings to float over the cyber waves, I will.
Not really a diary, not really profound revelations, just ramblings.
That fits me.

Where did this summer go?

I cannot believe it is already September! I feel like the summer was such a whirlwind of activity. Maybe because it was.

It was a great summer. Our trip to Montana was a very good trip. We just approached each day with a laid back attitude and everything fell into place. God blessed us each and everyday with something special from amazing sunsets to no cost upgrades on our rooms.

We made a great discovery in South Dakota. While visiting Mt. Rushmore a live band was playing. We fell in LOVE with their music. The band was Brule/Airo. Airo is an acronym for American Indian Rock Opera. They played what they called contemporary Native American music, I believe. Anyway they were awesome.

To learn more about them you can visit their website http://www.brulerecords.com/

We saw a lot of wildlife which is a rewarding experience but my favorite was probably the loon. I think they are beautiful birds but to hear them call is just incredible. That was a huge blessing even though it was too far away to get a good photo.
This little critter was a pretty exciting encounter. We were just driving along slowly on a backroad when this bear bounds out in front of us. It had been in the creek was just to our left (driver's side). Everyone in the vehicle was pretty excited to see one so up close and personal.

We were home one week and then off to cook at Big Kids Kamp. A great week but tiring. Cooking is fun but boy do you get tired of scrubbing pots! Well, I did anyway. Some people may enjoy that. The kids were great and I know God did some amazing things while we were there. My prayer is that what they experienced stays with them for a life time. My friend, Anita, and I still reminisce about camp and that was some 30+ years ago. Wow, how time does fly, but they are wonderful memories and friendships can last a lifetime.

Katie will be home soon and for that I am grateful. I have missed her although I know she has enjoyed her summer immensely.

Meanwhile I have been playing "catch up" on everything that was left undone here. I have painted my living room and I have done some serious cleaning which was long overdue.
Now it is time to refocus on school as my little one is in 8th grade this year, hard to believe.
And my photography business is growing which is cool.
The garden is winding down but I am still canning tomatoes. Mainly juice and salsa, which reminds me, there are lots of tomatoes sitting on my kitchen counter right now so I will sign off. I'll be back with more random thoughts. Until next time....

on the road again...

...seems to be where I have been spending a lot of time these past two months! When I last posted I was on my way to junior church camp, which turned out to be a good week. We had 200 people there; a much larger number than years past! Here is a group photo. You can't really tell who individuals are but you can certainly see it was a big group!My cabin of girls was great! We had a lot of fun and made some new friends.

After camp, I was home for 2 weeks. I had much to catch up on since my computer had died on the first trip to Montana. I am still working on reloading programs and info. Having a dial up connection stinks too. It takes forever for things to download and/or upload. And I am still without a cell phone since I am in round two of it dying for whatever reason...actually this time it didn't get dropped, it went for a LONG swim...I really need to replace it but haven't had time to really look into it again! Sorry if you have been trying to call me~!

...and for some reason the need for food and clean laundry never stops. The garden is in full swing as are the flower beds and the yard. We had the pleasure of hosting hubby's family for Father's Day. A rousing game of chicken in the pool was greatly enjoyed by our twin nephews.I never thought I'd want a pool but we certainly have enjoyed it. After mowing or pulling weeds it is wonderful to jump into and cool off!

One of my dear friend's daughters got married in that same two weeks so we enjoyed an entire day with her family. She has been a lifelong mentor, friend, and sister in Christ; a tremendous blessing in my life!

It was a beautiful wedding. I can't believe our kids are growing up so quickly but how blessed we are to have such a great group between us!This is a photo of only 4 out of our 7! Gorgeous, eh?

The end of June found me and my youngest daughter heading out on a mission trip with our church youth group. That was quite a trip. It all went well and the kids worked HARD but it was H-O-T! They told us the hot weather really hadn't hit there yet. I cannot fathom how they live there. Mercy! We spent one afternoon doing yard work and cleaning up debris for a disabled woman. Her yard had not been touched all summer and it was quite a task but it looked amazing when the kids were finished with it. One full day was spent working at God's Katrina Kitchen. The kids were able to help prepare food, serve it to the homeless and to the volunteers who were there working as well as help clean the facilities.

It is a wonderful ministry that is in transition but God has used them greatly. You can learn more about them at www.godskatrinakitchen.org The kids also helped level some dirt at a building site, moved a LOT of volunteer workers supplies and even helped move a stage down an alley. Amazing team work. The guy leading them was an incredible leader. Super nice guy.

We were incredibly blessed in spite of the hot humid conditions. We were home 4 days after the mission trip, one day was a holiday, one day was spent restocking supplies, paying bills, etc and one day was spent photographing a wedding so we were still quite busy.

Early Sunday morning, July 8, we headed out again for Montana. It was a great day for driving. The weather was good and God was great! We experienced some amazing blessings each day. Breath taking sunsets, beautiful wildflowers, lots of wildlife, and best of all seeing my girl doing what she loves. Seeing her happy and fulfilled, challenged and content all in one. Upon returning home from Montana we were met with sad silence. Our faithful companion, Sugar did not greet us. I had a feeling...and I was right. She was older and not in the best of health. She passed away just one day before we got home. The hardest thing for me was to call Katie and tell her over the phone. Life is never easy.

I am running short on time but I wanted to try and briefly catch up before I share more about Montana. Until next time... (hopefully that will be before I leave again for senior high camp next week!)LOL! Later!!

Life on the farm...

Well life on the farm is kinda laid back....

These adorable little birds are Chinese Silkies and they are so fun to watch.

Next we have a lovely head of broccoli and cabbage... one of hubby's proud moments...

tasty too!

hhmmm...seems someone else liked the cabbage!

oops!! How'd that get there?

That's a pretty cute little head of cabbage~

an evening leisure activity...

Watching the chickens as the sun sets, eating supper outside, and watching the fireflies come out.

(That is a photo I am still trying to master!)

One of my favorite things is our butterfly garden. It is coming along nicely. The end of June and July it will be coming into full bloom and I love it.


Well I just wanted to post a few photos primarily for my little girl's benefit. She is living a part of her dream this summer but dreams always seem to have a price. Keep her in your prayers. Serving the Lord can be a tough job at times but it can also be greatly rewarding.
I
n the meantime, I am off to Jr High church camp for a week of supervising rowdy kids, scraped knees, homesick hearts to comfort, cooking for 200 when they need help, and helping clean bathrooms for 200???

ACK! What was I thinking???

Maybe I am just off...
Naw...it's a good time and the girls in my cabin are always worth spending a week with.
til next time, stop and watch the fireflies if you are passing an open field in the country (nothing like it!)
and enjoy the summer months ahead.

testing

...that is what I feel I have experienced a great deal of lately. Katie has too. She was called by God, accepted by the ACMNP, and hired by GNP to be in Montana nearly 5 months ago. Since then....what a list I could write but just a few would be: I broke my phone, lost all my info.... My computer died, lost some of my info.... katie broke her leg... Katie had a cold... Katie then had strep... got to Montana... Katie got bronchitis... had car trouble while we were there.... there's more but just suffice to say that we have been tested. But.... We both know that she was called and chosen. Those God calls, He enables. Those called, most likely will be tested by the enemy trying to throw up stumbling blocks to discourage and cause one to lose focus more than anything. Things are MUCH better for her now. She has been there for almost 2 weeks and I can hear a big difference in her voice, her attitude, every time she calls. First I sensed some apprehension, some doubt, maybe a tad bit of fear or regret... very normal feelings for the first time of being so far from home...alone... but now I am hearing confidence.... confirmation... excitement at the potential challenges... I am starting to hear my Katie coming through. I am proud of her. I know she will do outstanding work on the job and in her ministry. 

Homesick...

...more so everyday

Do you ever remember being little and going somewhere new or different? It started out maybe fun, maybe even relaxing (for as much as a child can understand relaxation). Then one day someone wasn't kind to you. Maybe they said a cross word or made fun of you. Maybe nothing was said at all but you just felt out of place. Lonely.

Then it was night; you were getting ready for bed and this horrible sadness would come over you. You wanted to be big and not let on like anything was wrong but ...the tightness in your chest would get so heavy it would creep into your throat. Your throat would be so tight you felt you couldn't whisper or even breathe. You fought the tears but then the tears would come slowly....eventually giving way to sobs. Through shaken attempts at communicating, what few words would manage to choke out, you wanted to go...home..."I.... wanna...go.....home..." I can hear it even now as I feel the tightness creeping from my chest into my throat, the hot tears burning my eyes.

People all in a hurry, cursing at you, tailgating you, scowling, glaring, just being hateful. Condemning, condescending, you don't measure up.
Why? What is the big hurry? Where is the love? the compassion? the forgiveness? the charity? the smiles?
Why does everyone expect YOU to be the one to carry the ball in the relationship? How much time really would pass before THEY took the initiative to call, to drop by, to say "I'm sorry", "I care", "I've been there, you'll make it."

When I would cry to go home it was because I felt a degree of love and safety there. My bed, my bathroom, my mom's food. It was familiar. There is nothing familiar here anymore. Nothing.
I so long to crawl into my Abba's lap and just let Him hold me. Love me without any hidden expectations. Love me without being mad at me for not saying the right thing at the right moment, or doing the right thing at the perfect opportunity. No hateful people in a big hurry for no apparent reason, no one mad at me for no tangible reason, no sickness, no disease, no lack of money to pay the bills, no tragedies, or wars.

Warm. Safe. Loved. Home.

All I have ever desired is to be a servant of the King and in the end to hear Him say well done. The longer I tarry here the less I feel I may hear that. Some days I think He will laugh and say, "You're in... barely."
But in my heart I know that is not true because He really loves me.
In spite of my shortcomings.


Even when I fail to speak.

Even when I fail to act.

Even if I fail to perform because I am tired.

Even if I fail... period.

One evening the presence of the Lord was drawing me....wooing me. I went outside and as I was walking and praying....I stopped to lean against a tree. I looked down at the ground, with a heavy heart and tears blurring my eyes, longing to be with the Lord. I was in a wooded area and there were violets all around my feet. As I looked down at them the Lord brought something to mind.


When our girls were little, my husband and I would take them down south hiking. It was a family thing. One day for some reason I did not go. I cannot recall why but he took them alone. When they came home, my oldest daughter had found a rock that she wanted to bring home to me. It was a lovely heart shaped rock, somewhat heavy, but she carried it out of the valley with great determination.


That one rock has turned into several more over the years that have been discovered on our little nature walks.

God made. Not man made.

Then about a month ago, my husband and I were riding through our field and I noticed there were several different vines, plants and trees that had heart shaped leaves and I pondered this with no real thought or conclusions.

As I stood there leaning against that tree the Lord caused everything around me to fade away except all of those little heart shaped violet leaves.

"What do you think of when you see a heart?" He asked.

"Well, I think of valentines. Love."

"Yes, you got it! Just look around you. I have placed my own little love letters scattered around for you to see and be reminded that I love you."

Wow. I was speechless. My heart felt wrapped in peace.

Warm. Safe. Loved.

But not yet Home.

Until then I must cling to the little reminders He has scattered across my path.
Look around you. They are everywhere.

He whispers it across the sky with every gentle breeze.

He has shaped it into leaves.

He has carved it in stone.

"I love you. No matter what. Unconditionally."

random thoughts

I realize it has been a while since I have posted. So much has been going on.
Right now I cannot even begin to think of what I might really want to say.
My heart is aching with so much tragedy, grief and pain for those I love.

One of my close friends lost a 46 year old brother today to a massive coronary.

My youngest daughter's best friend(who is like one of my own) just called to say that one of her other little friends was in a vehicle with her grandpa and her younger sister, a 3rd grader and a 5th grader. They slid on the ice and hit a train. No one survived.

Another dear friend of mine lost a close friend/father figure to a heart attack just a week or two ago. This same friend has experienced a very young family member taking his own life just before Christmas.

I have spent the weekend trying to sort out the emotions of being with my mom's husband when he lost two digits on his left hand to a table saw. Even though we found them and got them to the hospital, they were not able to save them.

I really did not intend to say much about the latter incident but it is a very big part of the grief and heart ache I am experiencing.

I cannot begin to understand the ways of the Lord. But I still trust Him.

I want to be strong. But I feel so weak. So helpless.

I know God can heal. But sometimes He is silent.

I must continue to believe that He will ultimately work all things together for our good because I know I love Him and I am called according to His purpose.

I have held back the tears because I knew if I let the first one fall I may not be able to stop.

Apparently this is the night for the tears. My heart just crumbled after that last phone call. I have two nieces that very age. I cannot fathom losing them.
My prayers go out to the families of those who are no longer with us on this earth.

The only thing I can share that I feel God whispered to my heart in all of this mess this weekend is this:
On Saturday morning I went outside at Mom's. (I had stayed all night with her because I simply did not want her to be alone.)
After the accident snow had begun to fall. We opted to wait for daylight to begin our journey to the hospital. Anyway...as I went outside and saw all of the beautiful new fallen snow, I looked over the carport area and saw the trail of blood that led from the scene of the accident all the way to where my vehicle had been parked. I realized that the wet snow was going to make it easier to clean up the mess. I had been concerned about that earlier. I picked up a broom and began to sweep the snow away. Some of the blood had soaked into the snow as if it were a sponge. As I looked at the messy dirty trail of blood and the pristine snow that began to wash it away, I felt the Lord say to me, "Though your sins be as scarlet I will wash them whiter than snow."

I have always known that scripture but it came to life for me right there and then. It was always sort of hard to imagine how something red and dirty could be cleaned by something white, but I saw it before my very eyes and I was humbled. I feel so inadequate most days. I feel as if I have failed. There are times I lay in bed at night and I think to myself, "how can you love me God? I am such a rotten lousy sinner. You couldn't possibly forgive all I have done and continue to do."
But I believe that very brief moment was a special word for me that said, "Look how dirty this mess is. Blood, dirt, wet sawdust, mingled together makes a mess. Yet the pure white splendor of snow washed it all away. A gust of wind came along and within minutes it was all covered over again with sparkling white. Though my sins were as scarlet they have been washed whiter than snow!